Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I'm imperfect

I think one of the reasons why I dig handmade things so much is because whenever something is hand made no matter how skilled or talented you are there will always be some sort of slight imperfection with it. I find imperfections fun and beautiful! (although I don't find imperfections fun when I am making something for a customer and I don't think it's up to par, so I ditch it and start over…ok so maybe I'm a walking contradiction over here…)

Another thing that is imperfect? Me.

I know guys, it's pretty shocking. But homegirl has some serious quirks and flaws.

I shall present these quirks in the form of bullet points….now.

• my pinky toe doesn't go down. in fact whenever I get out of a pool and walk on the pavement my left foot only makes a "4 toe" foot print (kinda gross but kinda awesome). I also need to go to a specialty shoe-dude so that he can make a little "nook" in all my shoes for my toe to live. If I don't get a little nook put in my shoes then my poor little toe gets squished. If my toe could talk it would curse.me.out.

• I can not stand the sound of bristles against cement (i cringe just typing that) bubs and I went to go see "Stomp" for our one year anniversary back in the hay day. No joke about 2/3rds of the performance involved actors, brooms, and pushing the brooms against the stage. Worse.anniversary.ever.

 GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

 do NOT turn that broom upside down, you have my permission to bang the broom handle on the floor all ya want...

• I can't pronounce the following words: ask (axe), specific (spacific), remember (renember)

• You do not want me to be your "plane buddy". I turn into a totally different person on a plane. Whether its a 1/2 hour flight or 4 hours I will not talk, smile, or pretty much blink during the entire flight. Unsure if bub likes this or not, I mean he gets a silent girlfriend for once which I guess is a win for him.

• It takes me a solid hour to fall asleep every night--and thats if I'm lucky. Most nights it takes over an hour for me to get some shut eye. This makes me cranky. Bub hates cranky Leonora. He should just stick me on a plane to shut me up.

• Spelling? Math? HA! I owe my first born to whoever invented the calculator and spell check. I really hope its the same person because you only get one "first born" and I can't exactly share a child…we all saw how that went down for solomon. Not so hot.

• I can not sleep alone in a house. I am convinced a giant 3 headed monster named "Butch" is hiding in my closet and will come after me in a violent matter once I go to sleep. Make fun, but pretty sure Butch is legit. See below for my crude drawing of Butch via my phone and a sticky note:

 
ok, so only 2 out of the 3 heads look bad ass, but still I don't like my odds.

• I suck at driving backwards. Do not ask me to "back into" any spots or driveway unless you're ok with me ending up on your front lawn. I also can't guarantee that your mailbox will leave that site unharmed as well. Sorry in advanced.

• HA! oh, thats cute, you think you're going to draw blood from me? Good.Luck.Doc.

what are your quirks? Come on, let 'em out!



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6 comments:

  1. I also can't back up! My car looks drunk when I'm in reverse. Even worse now that I'm in a van. eek.

    I'm afraid of clowns. Seriously, even the 'cute' cuddly ones scare me. And don't even get me started about 'IT.'

    I can't sleep alone, either. If hubby is out of town, I bunk with one of the kids. Although, they're just as scared of monsters as I am, so I'm not sure who I think the 'grown up' is going to be....

    I hate the word 'moist' and the sound of someone rubbing on a balloon (ewwww)

    cute post - thanks! Love your blog.

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  2. what a great post. i think i shall do one too! i feel for the pinky toe. both of mine have TWO nails growing out of them. it's awkward come pedicure time.

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  3. i'm scared to death of driving.
    i can't STAND slick textures or anything...but I love the feel of burlap & such.
    want more? ha, you'd better sit down ;)

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  4. I love that coffee makes me awake, but at the same time hate it cuz then I can't take a nap later.

    I hate sleeping in hotels. (you never know what has happened in the bed before you got it. and I'm a weird clean freak about that)

    I can't make up my mind about Listerine. If I endure 30 seconds of my mouth on fire I can have good breath for about 5 minutes, or however long it takes my coffee to brew.

    Smelly farts. 'nuff said.

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  5. I love this. We ARE soul sistas.

    I must now make a list.

    Also, I can't back up well either. Recently I got into my dad's new car for ONE DAY and the first second I drove it out of the driveaway I backed INTO the basketball hoop and pushed it down the street. Best part? I didn't even NOTICE. Oy.

    Winner. Right here.

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  6. Hahah. I love this list!

    I take forever to fall asleep too. I hate it! I just want to be able to lay down and fall asleep in 5 minutes like my husband does.

    ReplyDelete

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