Thursday, June 23, 2011

Things I've Learned (While living with a Boy)

So now that I officially live with a boy (may lord help me) I have discovered that Bub has some interesting, well, "quirks".

Living with someone, whether it be your significant other or best friend, is all about compromise.

So now, in no particular order what so ever, I present to you my list of things I have learned over the past month and a 1/2 of being with the boy. (Do you guys like bullet points? Cause I do…)

• Your boyfriend will find a way to get black silly puddy stuck in the remote control-- He will then find someway to blame you for this ("Why do you let me do these things??" -Bub)

 no remotes were injured in the making of this really "awesome super great" idea.

• There is never ever enough milk in the apartment (ever).

• Apparently my hair gets everywhere. I didn't realize I shed so much. Bub even found one of my hairs wrapped around his toe (Yeah, just one single toe--i guess thats my way of "marking my territory".)

• That gnarly smell that won't leave your apartment for the past week will be some long lost food item hidden in the back of your fridge (oh, hey broccoli, so nice to see you again…I think it's time for you to leave)

• When buying a queen bed make sure you actually have bedding for it--or else you play the "race against the clock" game where you sprint into Bed, Bath and Beyond at 8:58pm on a tuesday night (while rocking your hot cartoon monkey face jammies and pair of flip flops that dont match) and pray they have SOME sort of bedding on sale since you, of course, do not have your handy dandy 20% off coupon with you (and you KNOW you have a gagillion of them too, why do they send so many anyway? I can wallpaper my apartment in 20% off coupons).

• A boy can eat an entire heaping bowl of grapes over the course of 24 hours (No, its ok, really, I didn't want any)

• Toilet seat wars: Up VS. Down (Down, every time down wins)

• Watching your boyfriend play "Call of Duty" is apparently "bonding" time (I didn't get the memo, must have went into my junk mail)

 I really really, like, hate this game.

• …and when you DO to finally decide to give in and play Call of Duty you realize that all you can make your little man do is run around in circles, look up, and shoot at the sky. Your boyfriend will skillfully sneak up behind you and stab you in the back. This will inevitably lead to an argument every.single.time.  (ahhh young love--I know ladies back off, he's mine.)

• Bub apparently sleep walks. I hope to never ever experience this phenomena ever again. Waking up to your boyfriend standing at the edge of the bed just staring at while he tugs on the sheets and your t-shirt is NOT one of his "little habits that I'll find cute over time". This will never ever be cute--it is straight up creepy. Sleeping beauty didn't have to deal with this crap--Disney lied, I want my money back.

 aww look at that, the handsome prince is ever so endearingly kissing the sweet princess in her sleep--contrary to popular belief chicks dont dig being waken up like they're in some horror movie in their own apartment. ((photo courtesy of Disney))

• I don't even know how my Yellow Heart Art Banner got on the cold cuts, but it did.

 Maybe this is a sign that if my art prints and jewelry doesn't pan out I can totally be the next boars head or oscar myer.

• Say goodbye to all your favorite trashy reality TV shows and Hello to "Boy Commentary"

• I am banned from folding bub's socks. The boy only owns those white champion ankle sock thingy-ma-jiggies and he claims each one "has a pair". (Yes, I'm serious)

• Your already tiny fridge will soon be half filled with trays of Jell-o and beer (yes, trays of jello-, as in plural. It's ok, I really didn't want any room for the milk that we never have anyway…)

• Sure, your combat boots can totally lay in the middle of the kitchen, I love tripping over them in the middle of the night when I go to the bathroom.

• The toilet paper roll battle continues (*I* put the last roll on! No, *I* put the last roll on!)

Your weekends on "google calendar" start to look like this:

"have a million errands to run on the weekends"

Even though Bubs drives me up a wall, I really truly love going to bed and waking up with him--he gives me the warm and fuzzies and does make me feel like a "Disney Princess" when he's not standing over the bed glaring at me in the middle of the night...

yep, totally wear glasses--threw you a curve ball there didn't I?

what does your signficant other do that drives ya crazy?


  1. I think you covered the last few years of my husband and I living together. Things don't change unfortunately.

    He's good about the toilet seat, but.. well, the rest is true. Boy commentary sucks so bad too because I have to sneak in my girly movies to watch them in peace. Jerks.

  2. Oh my gosh I can pretty much relate to EVERYTHING on this list. "Why did you let me do that?" is like my boyfriend's catchphrase or something. And playing Call of Duty is apparently something I HAVE TO be there for. Then I fall asleep and he wakes me up "hey, are you watching?" But I'm so bad at playing - I'm only good at 2 dimensional video games, I guess.

  3. TOILET SEAT!! we had a war on that for the LONGEST time and then we decided it's best to just close the lid both of us have to lift it up:D

  4. Haha Ohhhhhh so very true. And entertaining.

  5. Toilet paper!! I swear that his arm would actually fall off if he put a new roll on!!!! :)

  6. I love that he glares at you in your sleep.. totally reminds me of the creepy girl sleep walking in Paranormal Activity! Good luck!


  7. HOLY COW ME TOO! ;)

    I think it is a universal living situation. Like, even in the olden days, wives would be peacefully working on their needlepoint or whatever, and their husbands would come in and turn on their gramophone at top volume and talk about croquet scores of which the wife has no interest.

    My fiance has sleepwalked too- it's the creepiest thing. He also sleep laughs, like this crazy maniacal laugh. Terrifying! Haha, this post made me laugh so much. :)

  8. I LOL'd (yes I'm cool) about the bowl o' grapes. Baberoo "doesn't believe in leftovers" so it looks like I'm in store for a lifetime of "oh no, that's okay honey, I totally bought $50 worth of lasagna ingredients to enjoy for only ONE Meal".

  9. Ok, in my defence, I don't have a problem putting on a new roll of toilet paper. I get on your case for not changing it. It's like its always empty.
    Each sock does not have its own matching sock. White ankle socks go with white ankle socks. I complain when you pair them with full legnth socks Babe. I can't wear 2 very different socks Love...
    "There's always room for Jell-o," even in a fridge babe.
    Those idiot people in the stupid reality series that you watch make me so mad. Lol



  10. omg this is sooooo funny!! i feel like i could have written everything in this post lol! i wonder if the boys ever get annoyed at the call of duty man saying the exact same thing over...and over...and over...

  11. This made me laugh so much and I totally read some of them to my fella.

    We don't live together but we sure almost do. Somehow I am always re-loading the dishwasher, unloading it and ORGANIZING what's in there. Ugh.

    Also, oh and sleep habits..... sure just breathe like a bear and burrito wrap yourself in ALL the blankets. I didn't want to sleep anyway. Especially since I'm the one who works, gets up early, and DOESN'T get to sleep all day.

    Ha, don't worry. You are not alone.

  12. um, this should be the title of a movie. ha! i laughed through pretty much all of it. thanks for preparing me, friend. ;)

    p.s. the whole toilet seat thing - the fiance learned super fast. whenever he visited my family or my apartment (each home filled with women), he got yelled at for leaving the seat up. that is how dad learned with all daughters. now i just need to figure out how to have all daughters so they can train Ryan if he ever gets out of line with the seat. ;)

  13. Boyfriend and I have good system - I make the dinner, he cleans the dishes. I load the washer and dryer, he folds the laundry.

    But there is one thing I can't stand about living with him. HURRICANE CLOSET!!


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