Wednesday, March 14, 2012

You mean, this isn't a normal relationship?

So, things got a little crazy last night between the bubs and I.

The series of events are as follows:

• Saw 80 bucks worth of Bub's cash chillin on the bed, so naturally I was all like "So, this is your dues money for us dating, right? Cause you're a couple of months behind".(Just kidding he doesn't really pay me to date him) (although that is a magnificent idea)

• I shoved said 80 bucks down my shirt, and run out of the bedroom with bub right behind me. Juuuuust as I was about to make it out the door he scoops me up and throws me on the floor.

• Got tickled to death by him, managed to get the money back. While he was counting his change I grabbed a nurf gun and started to nail him. (VICTORY IS MINE!) (at least I thought)

• Again I get tackled, nurf gun becomes fair game and ends up in the hands of the enemy. Somehow in the process bub took off my boot and pelted it down to the laundry room. (he's super romantic like that)

• In a panic I waddle with one boot left on me and lock myself in the office. I find a piece of 2x4 with nails sticking out of it.  I collected it as my weapon of choice. I also managed to find a giant piece of styrofoam that i use for my shipping supplies and used it as a shield. Basically the movie 300 was being reenacted in my apartment using things that could be found on regretsy.

 this happened. ok maybe not as violent, but pretty close. img via

• Finally come out of the office with 2x4 in hand and started to get pelted with nurf gun amo. I start swinging my 2x4 and bub is all like "DUDE THAT HAS NAILS!" and I'm all like "bitch suck it up it aint THAT bad" (ok I didn't say that) (but really, I'm fighting for the death here, I will not go down lightly)

• I eventually get cornered into our bedroom where my ass took the brunt of about 8 nurf gun shots at point blank range. I yelled for mercy. Bub gives in and then like a ninja I gain control back of the nurf gun.

• Bub then runs away and locks himself in the office.

• I realize my gun is out of amo but will never let the enemy know that. They can smell fear ya know.

• Not knowing what to do I just stood in front of the office waiting for him to come out now knowing what in the world he could be using as a defense mechanism (My guess was he was going to come out swinging our wireless keyboard) Instead he comes out looking like this.

He took 1/2 of my scarf collection and surrendered. I have no words. When I asked about the scarves he said "well, I thought you would be mad if I wore your ENTIRE scarf collection"

How thoughtful, so now  I only have 30 scarves to put away as opposed to 60.

And this is a typical Tuesday night in the Bubs/Toots household.

Still want me to babysit your kids?


  1. You guys are too stinkin' funny!! LOVE!

  2. bahahah!!! This is TOO funny!! You two should have your own tv show!! I would TOTALLY watch that!!

  3. hahhaa priceless. that photo is incredible too. you are also an amazing story teller... i felt like i was totally with you on the battle grounds ;)
    xo dana

  4. Totally made my day!

  5. yes. this is normal. I am going on 18 years of it ;)
    Last night I cried unfair game because he distracted me and then "accidentally" knocked my air out with an elbow to the chest. I cried pussy move. he cried accident. The real problem though is once I'm tackled to the ground I don't have a fair fighting chance because my kids come to my "rescue" which usually means I can't fight (for fear of hurting them) and end up hurt...OR scenario 2, he holds me down and tells the Moose to give me kisses. Which my 120 lb dog does happily.
    Dude, I can't even scream because then I am getting french kissed by a moose. How is that fair!?

  6. Haha! Sounds like my sister-in-law and her husband. Except he attacks her with a Nerf gun as she's getting out of the shower.

  7. Okay, I just had the best time reading this!! SOOO funny!!

  8. Umm this sounds like our household only on Thursday nights.

  9. I laughed at this so much I almost cried. Then read it to my boyfriend. Probably a mistake since we have several nerf guns in the house..... I hope this didn't give him any ideas!


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