For those of you new here I live in New York. Now, out of all my friends only 1 is married. Most are not engaged and even some recently ended things with their boyfriends of 4+ years. I know this isn't as common in other areas of the globe but out here on Long Island this is the norm. Most people now a days don't get married out here till you're in your late 20s/early 30s.
Yes, I love my boyfriend. Yes, I am happy with him, but honestly whenever it happens it will happen and I am SO ok with that! Us being married will not change a darn thing. Sure, I can go under his health insurance plan and we can finally start to look at houses but thats pretty much it. Besides, going to the DMV to change my maiden name does not sound like a fun Saturday afternoon. Maybe I'll just make him change his name instead, OR we can BOTH change our last name, suffer at the DMV together, and end up with a last name like "awesome". Mr and Mrs.Awesome at your service. "Oh hey the Awsome's are here!" "did you hear what the Awesome's did this weekend?" (sorry just giggled to myself for a moment there)
I don't think people realize that when they ask Bub and I over and OVER again about our relationship status and what our timeline is for getting married that it's slightly hurtful. I feel like we are being judged for not being engaged yet. I mean come on people give me a break over here it's not like I am 50, single and living with 30 cats all named after members of 1990s boy bands (come here Justin! JC stop clawing at Brian!. Dang it Lance STOP PEEING ON THE COUCH!)
Him and I are happy and thats all that matters :)
And even if its not engagement people pressure you that once you are married "when are you having kids??" then you get pregnant and I am sure all my pregnant friends are sick of hearing "Hey, are there TWINS in there?" "when are you due? you look like your about to BURST!" then you pop out a kid and people just start asking ya when the heck you're launching another one out of your va-jay-jay.
I think people need to respect other people's decisions and personal life.
Which is why I finally went to my sounding board and voiced my opinion to my facebook wall. I figured if my friends and family saw my status they would FINALLY leave both of us alone and take a chill pill, or a valium, or a vodka tonic. And, well, things got a little crazy over there.
The cast of characters involved are:
Leonora = me
Catherine = Bub's Brother's Girlfriend (ya with me still?)
Grace = Bub's Aunt
Steve = Bub (Yeah, he has a name, who knew)
Phil = My Cousin
All the last names have been blurred out cause, well, the internet is a creepy place.
Ya can't make this stuff up.
Hahahah aaahhh I love you.
ReplyDeletethank you for making me LAUGH so hard this morning.
ReplyDeletecan i be invited to the elopement party in paris or las vegas? i'll bring a pet ocelot.
and, girl, if you were married you would get judged... that's what happens to me ALL the time out in my neck of the woods (seattle.)
"what? you're married? you're 25?" people ask me while looking at me up and down. "you look so young," they say while secretly labeling me a freak.
honestly, you cannot win-- no matter what you decide.
Ahahahahaa you make me laugh. Um... I'm a bad wife and still havent gone to the DMV to change my name... *embarrassed* But now that I read this, I think I should drag Hubs along with me and we both change our names. *score!!*
ReplyDeletethat is quite possibly one of the best conversations concerning marriage i have ever read!
ReplyDeletethree cheers to taking your time! so many people now days feel pressured to get married because it seems like the next step and then end up in a marriage that isn't right for them! i applaud you being happy where you are in life and sticking with it! :)
1. We got married at 36 after Way More Years together than you've had.
ReplyDelete2. We bought a house together before we got married.
3. I didn't change my name. Neither did he. Because Nobody likes to hang out at the DMV.
Good luck! :)
Sister friend. Fella and I get asked the same questions. And no matter who you are, after awhile you start to not only feel pissed but also slightly insecure. Are we messed up for not being married yet? Is this normal? And I feel like it starts to come between us. But screw those people. And thank you for pointing out to them that just because you've been with someone awhile and aren't married with babes doesn't mean you don't have a radtastic relationship.
ReplyDeleteAs usual, you rule.
Hahaha, this is so great. Just do you. People are so annoying. Once you get married, then they will ask over and over again "when will you have kids??" And when you have one kid, they want to know when you will have a second. BACK OFF!
ReplyDeleteAll right, all right...whatevs! I just want to know how long I have to lose weight so I look great at the wedding...whenever it is. ;-)
ReplyDeleteAlso, I named the ocelet Vladimir. <3 you!
ReplyDeletelike erika said, i also still get the "you're way too young to be married!" bit... and we've been married for 3 years now. And yeah, on my WEDDING NIGHT i had people ask me when the kids were coming... which is definitely not ok! you complete one thing and then there's just another on the to-do list!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! You totally crack me up!! I'm in the same boat. Seven years went by before we got engaged and everyone was asking me ridiculous questions about when we were going to get married. Two days after we got engaged, my aunt sent me a fb message asking me if we were having a baby... whaaaaaat? Now people won't stop bugging us about setting a date. I've resorted to telling people that it's going to be a five year engagement.
ReplyDeleteyou are totally hilarious! i agree about the never-ending questions. it doesn't stop when you get married. In fact it's just the beginning. We've been married 4 years and I've had enough of "When are we going to get Grandbabies?" to last me my next lifetime! and not singular, mind you. It's PLURAL. As in Grand- BABIES. jeez.
ReplyDeleteHell- I just got engaged but have been with Brendan for awhile and was constantly getting asked when we were getting married and once I came home and told Brendan if one more person asked me if I was getting married or when I was getting married I was going to stab them with a fork. It seriously is so annoying and now that I am finally engaged the questions don't end....now it's when is the date, who's going to be in your wedding party, where are you going to get married, when are you going to start popping out those babies....ugh
ReplyDeleteWe've been married for 8 years and just in the past two years I've noticed that the 'when are you having kids' question has finally died down. I guess at this point they have all given up! It is really shocking that people feel like it's OK to ask such personal questions. Maybe we should reply with "When are you going to get some MANNERS?". Thank you very much.
ReplyDeletebahahaha!! Funniest conversation ever!!
ReplyDeletePS I watched How I Met Your Mother last night and it was the episode when Marshal + Lily get married and they contemplate changing their last name to Awesome (And their kids Totally and Freakin') :)
PPS You two should TOTALLY change your last name to Awesome after you get married!! :)
HA!! I've also suggested changing our last name to Awesome. How fun would that be? And my mom is so beyond ready for grandbabies that now she says I don't even need to be married -- just pop out a couple kids already. Good grief!
ReplyDeleteIf I have one more person assume I am pregnant and hiding my baby bump from everyone, I am going to hire an acting little person/midget (really don't mean to insult anyone!...maybe) to pop out during a fake labor scene. Extreme. Yes. Will I be disowned? Oh def. Will it be work it? yes!
ReplyDelete